


Forever and A Day

by Kathyfish



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3639927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathyfish/pseuds/Kathyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Harkness has lived a long and hard life and he's decided that it's time for him to get what he wants. What is it that he wants? Well that would be one Gwen Cooper. It's a good thing that he has friends who want the same thing because achieving the happy ending Jack deserves isn't going to be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gwen Cooper's life had changed so many ways since she'd joined Torchwood. She'd been opened up to the impossibilities of the world and found that the universe was a far and vast place indeed. Before, she had often wondered what her life would have been like if she'd just let it go after the first meeting. How she would have lived the rest of her life without ever pursuing the case , without ever meeting Captain Jack Harkness.

Gwen was looking out the window not really thinking about anything specific, hoping that it would do something for her frayed nerves. If someone had told her a few years ago that that she would be here, sitting down in this room waiting to promise the rest of her existence to someone who she'd always thought had been out of her reach, she'd have called them crazy. Yet here she was, maybe she was the crazy one denying what she knew to be true in her heart. 

A knock sounded at the door and a blonde girl poked her head in. 

"Gwen, it's almost time. Are you ready?"

"Yea, I'll be out in a second." 

And she was - ready that is - ready to finally promise her forever and a day to the man she loved more than life itself.


	2. The Hard Things Always Come First

_“What’s this?”_

_“That’s an engagement ring that is.”_

_“You’re getting married?”_

_“Yes, Rhys asked. When you were away.”_

_“And you said yes.”_

_“Well no one else will have me.”_

*

He had come back for her. He had lived through the end of the world, and clawed his way back from it so he could return to her. But it wasn’t enough. Not for her. He had lived so many lives, lost so many people and that was something that he knew she would never understand. There was only one other person in the universe who understood what it was like to watch everyone else live their lives, constantly moving forward and for you to be the only one stuck in one point, neither moving forward or having the chance to look back. She didn’t understand he did this to protect himself. That he couldn’t say what he wanted to because it would expose too much. 

He’d been ready though. Ready to open himself up to her, ready to throw caution to the wind and let the future take them wherever it wanted. It now seemed like a cruel joke that the very situation that had opened his eyes to what he really wanted was also the thing that had made him one step too late. 

Jack had never had any reservations about sex. If the other party was up for, then so was he. The problem with this was that others would assume that his philosophies on sex were also how he felt about any sort of romantic relationship. It wasn’t though, no matter how liberal his views were on whom he chose to bed, he was a romantic at heart; he believed in true love and he believed that every person had someone that could complete them. Their other half. That had been why he’d never gone any farther than harmless flirting with Rose, because though he could feel himself slowly falling in love with her, he knew it would never be able to hold a flame to what she’d had with the Doctor. It hadn’t really worked out for him as he’d ended up hopelessly in love with the both of them, but at least he’d never interfered with what they had in a real way. 

But now, he had found himself in almost the same situation: in love with a woman who had seemingly chosen another man. He had a respect for true love, and he didn’t doubt that what Rhys felt for Gwen was true, but unlike the situation with Rose and the Doctor, he couldn’t help feeling that what he had with Gwen had the potential to be something so much more than what she had and would have with Rhys. Jack didn’t know how he knew it, but he was sure that he and Gwen could be the stuff of legends. 

Now all Jack needed to do was to convince Gwen of that. But first he had something else to do. 

-

This was one of the harder things that he’d had to do in his very long life, but if he wanted to prove to Gwen that she should choose him, the he also had to do things that would make him worthy of being her choice. That didn’t help the sting he felt with he was faced with that look of utter despair though.

“So what was I then? What was this to you? Because I love you Jack. I’d never thought that I’d be able to love again after Lisa, but you changed that! I didn’t want to be this person; I didn’t want to love you. But it was you who pursued me!”

“I know Ianto. I’m so so sorry for doing this to you. You have to believe me, when we started this I thought that we’d really have a chance, I didn’t plan on this. I didn’t plan on falling in love with her. But I have, and it wouldn’t be fair to you if I didn’t tell you now because I’ve decided that I’m going to act on my feelings.”

“But what if she doesn’t love you? You know she loves Rhys, she’s always only had his best interests in mind. Everyone on the team can see that she cares more about him than she does herself.”

“I know, but I think if you love someone. Really love someone to the core of your being, then you should be willing for them to be happy however they choose to live. And if in the end she chooses Rhys then that’s fine with me, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I’d never even put myself in the running.” 

Ianto looked at the man he had opened his heart to and knew that he wouldn’t be able to change Jack’s mind. The funny thing about it was that he’d known it all along, he seen the way Jack looked at her, but Ianto had somehow told himself that they were feelings that Jack wouldn’t act on because Gwen already had Rhys. He could tell how wrong he was now, as he saw the grim determination on Jack’s face. It was that face that made him relent, and also feel sorry for Rhys, because as transparent as Jack’s feelings for Gwen were, it was the same when it came to Gwen’s feelings for Jack. 

“If… just if it doesn’t go the way you plan. Would you come back to me?” 

He knew how pitiful and desperate it had sounded, but he just couldn’t stop himself. Jack was worth losing a bit of his dignity. He hadn’t known how Jack would respond, but he hadn’t expected to suddenly be pulled into the most passionate kiss of his life. 

Jack held Ianto’s face in place and stared into Ianto’s eyes and said in his fiercest voice, “Ianto Jones. You deserve so much better than me. You deserve everything in the world. I know how you see yourself, I know that you think you’re nothing but the coffee boy, but let me tell you this right now. You are one of the most amazing men I have ever met. Don’t ever let me or anyone else put you in a position where you feel weak and without power. especially someone as undeserving as me. I love you. I really and truly do. In any other world we would have been great, fantastic even, but not this one and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that. But you deserve someone who loves you with all their heart and right now right here? I’m not the man for you. I have no doubt that the person you’re looking for is out there though, so don’t waste your time on me, because I’m telling you that I’m not worth it.”

With that, Jack walked away with his great coat flowing behind him. He didn’t seem to notice that his speech had probably done more harm than good as Ianto looked at his back with a look that was somewhere in between shock and devotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Some of you may have seen this fic over at FF.net but I'm slowly editing and working through it because I have a much clearer idea of where I want this story to go since I've had it there. Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Note: Dialogue at the beginning taken from Torchwood S02E01: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.


	3. The Rose in River's Bed

River should have known that it would end up like this. It always did. 

“Doctor you promised me skating on the St. Lawrence during the Carnaval de Québec.”

“That I did River, and I promise that we will… once I figure out what’s got the TARDIS up and running again. You know her, always in one or another of her moods these days; don’t really know what’s going on with her really. But the moment I find what’s wrong with her and fix it then we’ll be on our way to the great north! Maybe we’ll ride a moose! Or make maple syrup!”

“Sweetie you do realize that neither of those things is even remotely interesting don’t you?” 

The Doctor was already on the other side of the control panel fiddling with something when all of a sudden he shouted in a completely exasperated voice, “REALLY? Now you’re just playing with me aren’t you? I thought we were friends!” 

“What’s wrong Doctor?”

“It’s the TARDIS, she’s gone and fitted herself with screws. Screws made of wood! She’s obviously doing this on purpose, but she won’t tell me what’s wrong. I’ll be back in a second, I need to go and see if I might have a regular screwdriver, but I’ll tell you now that it’s pretty unlikely. You hear that? It’s unlikely I have a regular screwdriver, so you may have just gotten yourself stuck in the time vortex. Really….” 

The Doctor was still mumbling as he left the control room heading through the many corridors of the TARDIS, presumably to find the tool room and hope that for whatever reason he had picked up a phillips head screwdriver somewhere along the way in his travels. 

Once River was sure that the Doctor had gone far enough and wouldn’t hear what she said she sat down in front of the console and stared into the screen. 

“Alright then, out with it. What’s really going on? I know that there’s nothing wrong with you, so that means you’re keeping us stuck here for a reason. We both know who really decides what we do and where we go, so for some reason we need to be in the time vortex right now? Come on, you can tell me, in a way you are one of my mums.” 

The TARDIS decided to answer her the moment she stopped talking. Suddenly, the screen showed a message written in Gallifreyan, “We need your help, please answer”. 

For a moment, River couldn’t do much more than stare at the message in shock. The fact that the message was written in Gallifreyan was already enough to be confusing, but the fact that it was written in high Gallifreyan? As far as River knew there were only two people in the universe that could still read and write in high Gallifreyan, and they were both currently aboard the TARDIS. She tried to think about who could possibly be able to send this message but couldn’t think of a single being who would have been able to send the message. For a moment she was worried that it was another trick, like what had happened to her parents and the Doctor in the pocket dimension, but she knew that the Doctor had put in extra safeguards since that adventure. She must have been standing there for longer than she’d thought because the TARDIS did something that sounded like impatient exasperation, she’d gotten the message though, the TARDIS was saying something along the lines of, “Oh you daft woman, just answer it already!”

She’d thought that there was no one in the universe that could’ve sent that message and she had been right. River had pressed the accept option on the screen she didn’t know what to think about what she was staring at. She had recognized the woman instantly but couldn’t for the life of her think of a reason for her to be making contact. Frankly River was quite sure that the other woman shouldn’t even know of her existence, but River knew her quite well. You could almost say that River liked to think that she knew the woman on the screen as well as she knew most people. 

It wasn’t at all what she had expected, but somehow it was the only answer that made sense and River felt like she had known who would be on the other side of the call the moment it came through, she just hadn’t wanted to admit it. Recognizing the person would almost be the same as accepting that no matter how much time she’d spent with the doctor, no matter the fact that they were married and she was sure that he loved her; she would never be able to completely own both of his hearts. For all her bravado and belief in the fact that she loved the doctor more than anything else, she always knew that if somehow the woman on the other side of the screen decided that she’d wanted the Doctor back and found a way back to him… River knew that the Doctor probably wouldn’t even spare River a glance before running into the other woman’s arms. The other woman's existence was occasionally quite a literal thorn in her side.

It was then that the panic and the fear started settling in. River knew that the other woman probably wasn’t sending this message to steal the Doctor away from her. If the other woman had found a way back, she wouldn’t be sending a message. The fear was from the fact that the last time the woman had come to this universe the stars had been going out and it could quite literally have been the end of the universe. River decided that whatever news the woman was bringing, she would take it in stride. 

She would not back down from this woman. She would be strong. She took a deep breath. 

“Hello Rose Tyler.” 

River saw a flicker of confusion cross the other woman’s face before it completely lit up.

“Oh Doctor, come over here. It seems that you’ve fudged up the timelines a bit again we’ve gotten ahold of River instead, though really now that I think about it she’s probably a better choice for what we need.”

River felt the dread sink in when she hear Rose call someone off screen the Doctor. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to deal with it if she as about to see her own Doctor with Rose because it would mean that sometime in the near future she would be replaced. It was with relief that she didn’t recognize the man on the screen, even if it was still the Doctor, still the man she loved, at least it wasn't the face she loved.

River looked at the man who she presumed to be the Doctor but looking at him closely she could tell that something was bit of and quickly realized that this was the human metacrisis version of the Doctor. Rose’s Doctor. 

“So tell me River, have you had the delightful experience of meeting me yet? Just so we can get our timelines straight, don’t want any spoilers do we?” the Doctor said with a wink. 

“If you mean you as in the Doctor, then yes I’ve met him. How else could I be on the TARDIS if I hadn’t? But if you mean have I met your specific regeneration or even you meaning the metacrisis you? Then the answer to that would be no. I’m still with the Doctor of my original timeline. My first Doctor.” 

“Good, that means we didn’t mess up too much when we were calculating where in time to send the call to. It’s also a very good thing that you were the one to pick up River. We’d originally had Rose be the one to make the call because we’d thought that no matter how many regenerations had gone by he’d be more likely to listen to her than he would me, but now that we have you I’ll be able to explain the plan myself.”

“The plan?”

“Oh yes River, we need you to do something for us. Just a tiny little favour really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this taking so long to update, I've literally been without a computer for about two and a half months. That combined with my working over 40 hours a week means that updates will be slow for this fic but I promise that they will be coming!


	4. Hello Sweetie

After speaking to the Metacrisis Doctor and Rose, River wondered how she would go about this. She had agreed to what he’d asked, but wasn’t sure whether or not this was something she was supposed to share with her Doctor or not. She’d heard about the animosity that her Doctor apparently carried for Jack Harkness. She’d asked the other Doctor whether or not she should ask her doctor for help, but as it usually was with the doctor, she hadn’t really gotten a straight answer from him. 

_“Doctor, do you really want me to do this? Or would it be better if I’d brought my Doctor around and we talked to him about it?”_

_“Hm… well we had originally thought that we would be asking one of my future regenerations to do this so that was the plan. We’d never really considered that it could be someone else, though of course there would probably be a companion with him at the time. I’d just never considered that the companion could be you. Jack would probably appreciate it if we sent a woman like you his way though.”_

_Rose who had been silent the entire time the Doctor was explaining the plan to River then said, “I’m not too sure about that. Honestly if it was between the Doctor and someone else… I’m pretty sure he would want the Doctor. No offence to you River, but it’s just that I would be the same way; wouldn’t want anyone but my Doctor. Though that’s probably not our main concern here, I was worried about something when we’d made this call. The fact of the matter is, when we’d left, the Doctor still… uhm… didn’t really enjoy being near Jack. Something about him being wrong or whatever. I was planning on telling him to suck it up and help up anyways… but now that we have you… I’m not sure who would be the best to do it. It’s not going to be news that he wants to hear.”_

_“Well it’s up to you River. Whoever you think can effectively send the message should be the person who goes. Really if we could we would go ourselves, but you know the whole stuck in another dimension thing can be really quite annoying at times. As long as the message is sent and he listens to it then you can send whoever you like.”_

River had decided that she would just talk to her Doctor about it. She still didn’t quite understand why the TARDIS had decided that she should be the one to answer the call, but she figured the TARDIS had just been in another one of her moods.

It was at that moment that the Doctor came back into the control room looking rather pleased with himself holding up a screwdriver in his hand.

“Would you look at that River. I really did have a screwdriver!” 

“Wonderful sweetie, now there’s something I need to tell-”

Before River was able to speak the TARDIS shook violently throwing both the Doctor and River to the ground. 

“See! I told you she hasn’t been right these past few days. It’s those wooden screws; they’re probably interfering with her whole system. Now I just need to get them out – wait no, we’ve landed? Where are we?” 

The moment the Doctor reached for the monitors to check out where they were, when the monitor moved of its own accord and instead flew rather violently into his head knocking him out. The Doctor fell to the floor landing quite inelegantly in a heap on the floor. 

“Now was that really necessary?” River asked while looking up at the TARDIS.

The TARDIS didn’t respond but instead swung open the doors and threw sparks all around the console in an attempt to get River to leave. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll leave, just let me check that the Doctor will be okay.” 

After determining that the Doctor was simply knocked out and that there wouldn’t be any lasting damage to the Time Lord, River went out to inspect her surroundings. She soon realized that she was in some sort of jail; unlike Stormcage in that it was very clearly designed for short term stay and specifically for alien life. She did as the other doctor told her and set her vortex manipulator to track well… itself. According to the metacrisis her vortex manipulator had actually previously belonged to Captain Jack Harkness. 

She appeared on a floor very similar to the one that she had been in before, but she could tell that it was likely that she was a few levels up from her previous location as the air was fresher here, still subterranean, but less filtered than it had been in her previous location. It took her only a few seconds to take in her surroundings until she noticed a man also in the room, he was tall and broad shouldered with a stocky build and a classically handsome face. 

“Hello sweetie,” River said with her trademark smirk, “they told me that I would know when I found you, but they didn’t tell me you would be quite so handsome. Not my usual type – I’m more partial to the lithe intellectual type, but you are not bad at all.” River said as she walked toward the man. That is, until the man moved and quickly had a hold on her neck and pressed her up against the wall. 

“Oh and feisty, I think we’ll get along great.” 

“Who the hell are you? How did you get into the Hub?” 

River very easily maneuvered herself out of the man’s grasp and quickly switched positions so that she now had the man pinned against the wall. She leaned her whole body into him and then whispered lightly into his ear with a wink, “I’m here on the request of some mutual friends. Though I wouldn’t really consider them my friends and I get the feeling that you want something more from them.” 

Jack struggled against River’s hold, but he couldn’t escape. Though no one really paid attention to the Doctor when he was boasting, he wasn’t wrong about the superior Time Lord biology, and though River was only part Time Lady, she still reaped many of the benefits. It seemed that Jack realized that he wasn’t going to escape through brute force and instead moved his hands so that they were resting on River’s hips and gave her a charming smile.

“Now I’m not opposed to beautiful women throwing themselves at me. We could actually continue this if it turns out that your claims are true, but the thing is, though I have lived a very long life, the list of people I can call friends isn’t all that long. Especially in this Universe, most of the people I trust are actually in the room above us. So give me a name or else I’ll have to do something that isn’t very nice.” 

“I quite like to playing rough.” River said as she tightened her grip on Jack and pushed him harder into the wall. She then bit him lightly on the ear and whispered huskily. “Too bad I’m a happily married woman and my husband doesn’t like the share.” 

“Would you like to maybe enlighten me in regards to who this mysterious husband is? Or who our mutual friends are, even better yet just tell me who you are.”

“Oh yes introductions. Nice to meet you Captain, I’m Professor River Song, wife of the Doctor.” 

She felt Jack freeze under her grip and got the feeling that the time for games was over. 

“But… you can’t be. He wouldn’t, not with anyone. Not unless it was-”

“Yes, I’m well aware of who you’re thinking about, I’m here right now because of her actually. The Bad Wolf sends her regards. And to answer the obvious question in your eyes, yes I am actually married to the Doctor our first wedding was in a parallel universe but so far we’ve had about 13 different weddings so thank you for your input but yes, he would.” 

Jack didn’t understand who was going on, but he knew that it couldn’t be good. 

“Well, if you are who you say you are, then where’s the Doctor? And what do you mean the Bad Wolf sends her regards?”

“He’s currently… indisposed. The TARDIS felt like this would be a conversation best left for just the two of us. And before you ask, this conversation pertains to your second question. Oddly enough, I contacted by her and given a task, one that I’m completing quite simply because I don’t want my husband getting involved.” 

“You’re lying. The Doctor told me that she was gone and she can’t- ”

“Oh yes, that’s all still true, but I sweetie, am from the future. Well technically you are too, but you know how the timelines are when we’re talking about the Doctor. So I’ll just get to the point, in my time Rose has had her happy ending, she’s completely fine and her life is good. From what I was told this is all I can tell you at this point of your timeline, but that’s not the message. This is: Don’t.”

“Don’t?” 

“Yes don’t. Whatever it is that you were planning to do before I came in here. Whatever it is you were planning to say. Don’t do it. You can’t. Not now. It’s not time yet. If you don’t listen to me then you’ll be messing with more than just your own timeline.” 

“And I should just believe you? Some woman who just breaks in and claims to know the only people I would give my life for? How am I supposed to know you’re telling the truth? That you even know the Doctor?” 

River made her move to answer when she heard someone sputtering behind her. She turned around to see the Doctor behind her with his mouth hanging open. 

“River you- and Jack and… WHAT? How do you even…? This… how?” 

River leaned into Jack and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Well there’s my proof that I know the Doctor. Everything else, you’ll just have to put your faith in me. The alternative would be bad. Not unraveling timelines bad… but still as the Doctor would say, very not good. I’ll be seeing you Captain.”

She then walked back to the Doctor grabbed him by the bowtie and gave him a searing kiss as she set her vortex manipulator to take them back to the TARDIS.


	5. I Believe in Her

_Darlig UlV Stranden - Norway_

 

John Tyler walked along the beach slowly approaching the figure. He wasn’t sure what exactly had led to it this time, but when he woke up this morning to see his wife gone knew there was only one place she could be. It had been a few years since he and Rose had been left in Pete’s world by his doppelganger and they were good - fantastic even - for the most part. But, there were times when life proved to be just a bit too much for his wife and whenever she needed to escape; there was one place that she was sure to find her. 

 

Her back was turned to him and he knew instantly that something was wrong. There was something about her that looked small and vulnerable; those were two things that words that he would never use to describe Rose Tyler, “Rose sweetheart, are you alright? Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

 

She looked up at him and he was shocked at what he saw. Her eyes were glowing bright gold and he instantly felt the fear so sharp it was as if someone had plunged a knife deep into his chest.

 

“Rose? Are you alright Rose?”

 

“Oh Doctor my Doctor, it has all come to pass and it will continue to pass the mad one has returned and he will return again. He will knock four times and our song will end, in its place a new one will begin. Again and again all the songs which weave together, but we are mere notes in his symphony. I want you safe, but even I cannot protect you from this, even I cannot stop that which _must_ come to pass. _The only water that runs in the forest is the River._ He knows and he has told you _You. Are. Not. Alone._ Now we are the only ones who can save him.”

 

The glow slowly faded from her eyes and Rose slumped into a heap on the sand.             

 

-

Rose woke up with a splitting headache, but that was almost negligible due to the sheer _knowledge_ she now had. Everything that ever was, ever will be, must not be, it was all running through her head, a million different possibilities revealing themselves to her like an open book.

 

She knew that the Doctor was worried about her; she could feel his hands gently stroking her face as if he thought applying too much pressure would break her. She could see the worry in those eyes which were old with wisdom but at the same time so unbelievably young, yet she couldn’t do anything about it. She couldn’t assuage the countless worries that were running through his mind and she knew very clearly each and every one of them because she could _hear_ them. She could hear him. His every thought, every feeling, they were as clear as if he were announcing them to the world; at the moment she knew everything: open book didn’t even begin to describe what this was.

 

The problem was that at the moment she couldn’t concentrate on any of those things, not his thoughts or feelings, not even her new knowledge, because at that moment with all of the new things she was experiencing she was also awash with _memories_. Memories so strong that they were threatening to overpower her and take her away; replace her with someone who was her, but not at the same time. Rose remembered this other being so clearly, this entity as old as time and yet also bursting with a vitality that could only come from youth. She recognized now that it had always been there, waiting for her to be ready, waiting for the right time to make itself known.

 

She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the tears land on her closed fists. It simply wasn’t fair, hadn’t they been through enough? Her new memories proved that. They had all experienced enough for a lifetime, sadly as they were all meant for longer than that and the possibilities were endless, with her luck it could very well mean an eternity of suffering.

 

-

 

John didn’t know what was wrong with his wife, and he didn’t like not knowing. He had brought Rose back to the TARDIS promptly put her into one of the cots in the med bay and began at least fifteen different scans, all the while reprimanding other him. He had been so thick, so incredibly and unquestionably thick. How could he have taken the solution at face value? One kiss and a quick regeneration and everything would be right as rain? He should have known that nothing in his life was ever that easy, he should have known that things were never that easy. But he wouldn’t panic; one thing at a time. He had already done a quick visual assessment to ensure that there wasn’t anything wrong with her exterior, now he had to begin ensuring that there wasn’t anything wrong internally.

 

He was just about to begin an in depth brain scan when she began to cry. Since her speech at the bay she had been in a semi-catatonic state but it was as if something had all of sudden been released from inside of her and it was all pouring out now at once. John wanted so badly to comfort her, but he didn’t know why she was crying, it could very well be because she was in some sort of excruciating pain and so he started his scan. What he saw on the screen scared him so much that he could literally feel his singular heart sinking in his chest in dread.

 

Her brain was completely lit up; the whole thing was emanating a strong gold glow, synapses firing a top speed. It’s commonly known that humans only use a very small portion of their brains while the rest is simply there to remind them of their untapped potential, but the rate at which Rose’s mind was working was well beyond 100% for a human brain. Frankly, it looked to be beyond what would be what the maximum capacity of a Time Lord’s brain could handle and that was so very not good.

 

He was just about to scan the rest of her body to make sure that there wasn’t anything else wrong when he heard her whimpering. He quickly dropped the scanner and grabbed her hands – which were clenched into fists- and held them tightly in his.

 

“Rose, please Rose just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. Does something hurt, what’s the matter? What do you need? What can I do for you? Just tell me Rose, please tell me what’s wrong so I fix this, so I can make this okay.”

 

When she looked up at him, her eyes were still bathed in gold, but they had dimmed to the point where they were no longer glowing. It was at that moment that he understood; he knew the look in her eyes. He knew what it was because what he had seen looking back at him in the mirror for the past 900 or so odd years. He finally thought he had figured it out when she spoke. She only said one word and it was barely above a whisper and almost overwhelmed by a sob; but he had heard it and it confused him even more.

 

“Jack.”

 

He was just about to ask her what that was supposed to mean when the scanner that had fallen into her lap beeped. Instinctively John looked down to read the results on the screen and his heart stopped cold, he was almost impressed by the tenacity of his human heart as he was still standing and alive at this point, but he knew that this would be the final straw. In a day that had become far too much for his human body to handle, the results of the scan overwhelmed him and he could see the darkness begin to seep into the edges of his vision. His final thought before succumbing to unconsciousness was that this was so very absolutely not good, but at the same time he couldn’t contain the joy that he felt.

 

-

 

The Doctor didn’t like it when River hid things from him. He knew that it was a necessity with a relationship like theirs though and while he didn’t like to think about it, he knew that they were currently at the best point of their relationship; the point in time where their timelines finally matched up and they both had the same amount of information. There would come a day when River would be contracted to lead an expedition to The Library and the Doctor knew that after that he would never see her again, but he planned to spend every day he had with her before that to its fullest.

 

He had never imagined that he would be able to feel this way about someone again. Not after he had lost so much. Not after he had lost what he had thought was his only chance at true happiness to another version of himself in a parallel universe. If he were being completely honest with himself the Doctor would be able to admit that though he cared deeply about River, to a point where he could _almost_ call it a romantic sort of love – it still didn’t hold a candle to what he had felt for his pink and yellow human.

 

No. He had to stop. This wasn’t about her. This is about River. Sometimes the Doctor wondered how he had lived through the past few centuries, and if he wouldn’t benefit from some very selected memory loss. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to do it though, he would never be able to erase her, and because he had long ago resigned himself to this fate he knew he had to push those memories away like he had so many times before and focus on what was going on in the present.

 

The only problem was his present problem was a wife who refused to tell him anything. He knew that he shouldn’t be surprised considering how most of the beginning of their relationship on his end had consisted of the world ‘spoilers’ but he had thought that they’d gotten past that point now. Even if they weren’t he couldn’t for the life of him understand what River had to do with _Jack Harkness._ As far as he could see, there was no reason for them to meet - at least not at this point in their timelines, the Doctor had more than a few theories about where River’s vortex manipulator came from.

 

“River stop being difficult and just tell me what you were doing with Jack!”

 

“Sweetie, you now I only ever have your best interests at heart so believe me when I tell you that this is something that doesn’t and shouldn’t involve you.”

 

“So what? You’re protecting me? What could I possibly need protection from? You know better than anyone how much I’ve been through and can withstand. We’ve been in enough dangerous situations for you to know how tenacious I am.”

 

River looked as if she were experiencing some sort of overwhelming pain when she looked into the Doctor’s eyes. It almost made the Doctor want to drop the situation because he had never seen River with that sort of expression even on that day at the Library when she realized that he didn’t recognize her anymore, but he had to know.

 

“River just tell me. Aren’t trust and relying on each other the two main characteristics needed for a good marriage?”

 

“They are Doctor, so you need to know that what I’m protecting right now isn’t your life. It’s your hearts.”

 

-

River was a selfish person. This was something that she could confess about herself. She also knew that she was particularly selfish when it came to the Doctor, never in her life had she loved anything more than she had loved him. So it was possible, that what she was doing now – keeping her making contact with Rose Tyler and the metacrisis a secret – could be her own selfishness and jealousy rearing its ugly head but she honestly believed that there was some truth to her words.

 

She knew the Doctor loved her in his own way, but she also wasn’t deluded enough to believe that how his having feelings for her would lessen the feelings that he had – has – for Rose Tyler. It was a bitter pill of reality that River decided to ignore most days, but now she couldn’t deny it, and because she knew - or at least she thought she knew - just how deep the Doctor’s feelings for Rose ran; she had to protect him from it. She had seen how happy Rose and her Doctor were; they were so bright and alive that she almost couldn’t believe that the metacrisis and her Doctor had once been one being. Her Doctor put on a show of zany happiness bordering on the edge of insanity, but at the same time there were instances that tipped the scales to the other side, instances where the look in his eyes was so dark that River would fear for the fate of the universe were the Doctor ever sent over the edge.

 

Every iteration of the Doctor had that darkness, from what she had heard the metacrisis had more than any other, but from what she had seen he was completely free of that darkness now. Somehow the metacrisis Doctor had been completely freed from the darkness that clung onto the Doctor so closely that was a part of his identity. The Doctor was a broken soul that fought every day to be better than what his circumstances dictated he become. It was the understanding that the Doctor lived that the edge that made River keep everything a secret from him.

 

River had heard about Time Lord Victorious. Not from the Doctor - he sometimes mentioned his previous lives, but never the one that preceded his present self. River suspected it was because everything was still too fresh, the multiple losses he suffered in that life too much for him to handle so him simply chose to forget. It was the TARDIS that would show her the things that the Doctor refused to disclose, she had never shared anything such as the Doctor’s feelings for Rose with River, but she had shown River what he was capable when he let his dark side take over, so River could keep a look out for the signs and pull him back from the edge if she needed to. The TARDIS was after all a way her mother, and the two of them would do everything in their power to protect their Doctor.

 

River Song would not let her Doctor be ruined by this. She would not let him become the hurt and broken man that she knew he could be if he were to see Rose Tyler and actually see that she was happy with someone who was himself and yet not. To know how close he had come to having the life that he’d always wanted. She knew how catastrophic it could be for him because she had experienced it once before. The saying that it’s the ones closest to you are also the ones that can hurt you the most is true and River would always carry the scars that she had given herself as a reminder to be a better person for him. To try and become someone that he could _believe_ in.  

 

-

 

It had been very early in their marriage when River had been made aware that her husband had been in love once before. She had known that he’d loved many people in his long long life but she hadn’t expected him to have ever been _in_ love with anyone before her. At first she hadn’t believed it, didn’t want to believe it but whenever she would ask the Doctor about it he would completely shut down and ignore her for days while he shut himself into the room that she wasn’t allowed in.

 

It was that room that made her the most angry because she knew that it had something to do with the secrets he was keeping from her. She knew that room had to have something to do with all the secrets he was keeping from her so once, while the Doctor was at a market haggling for parts that he would use to fix the TARDIS she sneaked into the room. The TARDIS had buzzed unhappily at her but hadn’t hidden the room, River could tell that the TARDIS was telling her that she would regret going in, but if she was determined to find out the truth then she wouldn’t be stopped.

 

When she turned the handle of the door which was had a bouquet of pink and yellow roses painted on the front she was hit by and explosion of pink. The room was practically completely pink with the walls painted in soft baby pink and the bed covered in hot pink sheets. The only parts of the room which were not pink were those which were covered with clothing strewn all around the room carelessly which showed that whoever had inhabited this room was been comfortable enough to think of the TARDIS and her room there were permanent ant therefore she could afford to leave her things knowing that she would be able to return to get them at any time she wanted. 

 

The thing that caught River’s eye though was the vanity. She glanced down at the tabletop to see a large jewelry box filled with different baubles from all across the universe from cheap wooden bangles to rings set with precious stones from the far ends of the universe which had probably cost the Doctor a lifetime’s worth of savings to buy. But what held her attention wasn’t the jewelry, it was the pictures which were stuck haphazardly around the mirror all featuring what looked to be a very young couple the girl (because that’s what she was, she was so young that she couldn’t even be considered a woman yet) was a pretty blonde and the man was impossibly tall and skinny with a mess of crazy brown hair on his head. Sometimes it was the same girl, but with a different man, that man never smiled looking rough in his leather jacket, but in some candid pictures clearly taken without the two knowing the man looked down at the girl like she was the most important thing in the universe. 

 

River knew that the man had to be the Doctor and that the girl would have been a previous companion. There were two other people who were in a few of the pictures, a young early 21st century black man and what seemed to be a handsome soldier dressed in a WWII era greatcoat, but it was mostly just the other two. One of the pictures of two, which looked like it probably had been taken by the TARDIS featured the Doctor in his orange space suit and the woman dressed in a purple jumper and jeans hugging to the point where the woman’s feet could no longer touch the ground and they both looked so happy and in love that River almost couldn’t believe that this man and the Doctor that she knew were the same person.

 

It was at that point that she did something very stupid. Later she would say that it was a bout of insanity brought about by seeing the Doctor doing something so out of character, but in the moment she had been taken over by an overwhelming wave of jealousy and she knew that she just _had_ to know the story behind the picture. So without giving it another thought she set her vortex manipulator to the date written on the back of the picture and the coordinates to track wherever in the Universe the TARDIS was.

 

She realized early on that something very wrong was occurring here, but she knew that both the Doctor and Rose would survive it so she put on a perception filter and followed them as they explored the impossible planet and found the demon. She stayed with the Doctor until the very end; until she saw his figure disappear behind the TARDIS doors. After that she promptly made the back to the TARDIS in her time, not more than a minute after she had left and stonily walked through the halls until she had gotten as far away from the room with the roses as her legs would take her.

 

She slid down towards the floor as a battle between jealousy, shame, and regret was wrought inside of her.

 

_“If they get back in contact - if you talk to Rose - just tell her... tell her... oh, she knows.”_

_“ Except that implies - in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils - that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi gods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.”_

 

He had never actually said the words, but it had been so clear in the words he had said and the way he acted. It was so painfully clear to River that the feelings the Doctor felt for Rose Tyler wasn’t some passing fancy as she had hoped but instead he had been – and in all likelihood still was – completely in love with her. It also wasn’t the type of love that went away, it was the type of love that stayed with you, imprinted onto your very soul and affecting every decision made; it was the type of love that cleaved one’s existence into three clear pieces: before, during, and after.

 


	6. Friends Reunited

Jack was confused. It wasn’t very often that something took him by surprise. In his long life, Jack had grown accustomed to being the leader, the one with answers. But now, in this very moment all his thoughts were filled with questions: how much of what that woman said was true? Could she really be trusted? If so what was her message supposed to mean? It wasn’t like the Doctor and Rose to be so cryptic about things, in all honesty if the Doctor was involved he expected long winded explanations that went off on multiple tangents; not a single word. Don’t. Don’t what?

As he was mulling over his odd encounter with the woman he realized that this wasn’t the best time to for it. He had already spent so much time thinking about himself that he had almost forgotten about the situation going on with John. He didn’t completely trust John but knew that he didn’t have any other choice; it was like what he had told Gwen, there was a chance that the city was in danger and he couldn’t let that happen. He walked back into the main room of the Hub and saw that everyone was in the conference room, but there was something wrong. It was almost as if someone had hit pause in the middle of their conversation and they were all frozen in a strange tableaux.

He almost had to laugh. He’d had enough life changing revelations and exhausting conversations for the day, but it seemed that there was still more in store for him. Looking around, everything was frozen including the pterodactyl hovering midair in the sky, everything except for one person; one small blond person that was barrelling towards him at a breakneck pace. Jack almost wasn’t ready for when she sprung into his arms but he was able to catch her in time, he realized that it was sort of their thing; he would always be there to catch her when she jumped.

For one brief moment everything in the world was okay. Jack forgot all about his troubles because she was here in his arms, and it felt like he was finally himself again. It hadn’t felt like this when he had reunited in with the Doctor, with him it had felt like he was talking with a stranger with whom he’d had a common acquaintance. Though he would always love the Doctor the simple truth of it was that he had changed and Jack wasn’t as comfortable with the man who had replaced leather and big ears. But for one perfect moment he was finally back, it wasn’t that he was proud of the man he once was, the carefree Time Agent turned conman, but he couldn’t deny that there were times when he missed the youth that he’d once had. He missed his time with the Doctor and Rose; and he also missed the person that he’d been when he was with them. Being here with Rose made him fell like that man again. When it was him and his friends saving a different planet each week.

“Hey, Rosie.” He said as he rested his head into the crook of her neck and just let himself relax and take in her scent.  

“Hi Jack.” Rose replied and something about her answer made Jack take a step back and look at her more intently.

He wasn’t sure what it was exactly that made him realize that there was something different about her, but in that moment an unsettling feeling of wrongness permeated throughout his body. It brought back the conversation that he’d just had with the Doctor:

_"That's why I left you behind. It's not easy even just... just looking at you Jack, 'cause you're wrong.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“You are, I can't help it. I'm a Time Lord. It's instinct. It's in my guts. You're a fixed point in time a space. You're a fact. That's never meant to happen. Even the TARDIS reacted against you, tried to shake you off. Flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you.”_

And oddly enough, that was how Jack felt in this moment. He wasn’t a Time Lord, not by a long shot, but he did have a bit of time sensitivity, it was one of the reasons he was accepted into the Time Agency. Looking at Rose, he knew that this was what the Doctor had to have been feeling in his presence. He hadn’t understood it then, but now he did, and he knew that there was something very wrong with Rose. It was then that the rest of that conversation came back to him and he realized just how impossible it was for her to be in front of him.

_“So what you're saying is that you're, uh, prejudiced?”_

_“I never thought of it like that.”_

_“Last thing I remember back when I was mortal... I was facing three Daleks. Death by extermination. And then I came back to life. What happened?”_

_“Rose.”_

_“I thought you sent her back home.”_

_“She came back. Opened the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex.”_

_“What does that mean, exactly?”_

_“No one's ever meant to have that power. If a Time Lord did that, he'd become a god, a vengeful god. But she was human. Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever. That's something, I suppose. The final act of the Time War was life.”_

_“Do you think she could change me back?”_

_“I took the power out of her. She's gone, Jack. She's not just living on a parallel world, she's trapped there. The walls have closed.”_

_“I'm sorry.”_

_“Yep.”_  
  
She’s in a parallel world; the Doctor had said so. Trapped. That was the exact word that he had used, trapped. If there was one thing, one belief that Jack had held onto in all his years since the Game Station, it was that the Doctor loved Rose and he would to anything and everything to protect her.

Jack hadn’t noticed it at first but now looking closely at Rose he could tell that she wasn’t the same girl that he had once known and loved. She still felt the same, something in her still called to him, assured him that this was Rose and not some pretender; but at the same time he could also see all the differences between this woman and his Rosie. Physically she looked much more mature, when before she had looked almost painfully young, she now looked to be closer to age Jack himself appeared to be, but that wasn’t the only difference. There was something in the way that she held herself. There was a confidence that wasn’t there before, like she had somehow solved all the puzzles of the universe and knew exactly what her role in it was. He knew that he couldn’t expect timelines to be linear when the Doctor was involved, so this very well could be a version of Rose that was much farther along in the timeline than he was, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong. It also didn’t make sense then that she was here now changed and the Doctor wasn’t in sight, because if she had somehow found a way back into this universe Jack couldn’t believe that she would just leave the Doctor alone.

“Rose? Is that really you?”

“Yea Jack it’s me. Figured you’d need me to come and explain some things after your talk with River.”

“What are you talking about? Who is River? What about that parallel world? The Doctor said. He’d said that you were trapped. That the walls had closed. He made it sound like it was impossible for you to come back.”

“Haven’t you realized by now Jack? Whatever the Doctor says is impossible is almost always instead highly probable. I don’t have a lot of time here so to put it simply: the Doctor was wrong. He often is. I find a way to come back and I do reunite with the Doctor but because he’s an idiot, he sends me back to Pete’s world –the parallel universe- with his metacrisis, but now I see that it was supposed to work out that way. The Doctor, he needs to be as he is and in the long run him and me never would’ve worked out; he needs his adventures and though I may need that too, I also need more than that. I didn’t understand it then, we can probably chalk it up to youth, but I need family too Jack. I need the people I love, and that’s why I’m here right now. You may not want to believe me but I need you Jack, I need you in my life and I’m here right now to assure that you are.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“You saw River didn’t you? I figured that you’d be a bit wary of her presence and her message. It wouldn’t have mattered what proof I’d given her to show you that the message was really mine so we decided that I had to actually come and tell you myself.”

“What are you talking about? I really don’t understand anything that’s going on right now Rose.”

At that point Rose was looking at him almost sadly. A bit like she was about to deliver some bad news.

“I know Jack. I understand how confused you must be right now, and I’m going to explain everything to you, but at the same time you can’t remember anything I tell you. You know timelines and all that, but there is something that I can do. With your permission I’m going to lock away all your foreknowledge in your subconscious, so that it governs what you do in the big motions without your conscious mind actually having any of the information, would that be okay?”

If Rose was trying to help him understand what was going on, Jack couldn’t help but think she was doing a pretty bad job at it. What she was describing, locking away knowledge, memories, in someone’s subconscious; it was impossible for a human. But at the same time maybe it was only as impossible as he thought it was. That wasn’t too hard to believe with the day he was having. The only thing was: believing that something was possible and actually letting it happen to you were two very different things, so Jack was sceptical to say the least.

“Let’s say I agree to what you’re proposing. How would you actually go about doing that? I mean the whole locking away foreknowledge and the like.”

“Well… how I got the idea and how I’m going to replicate it is a bit of a long story, but first of all have you ever heard about a group called ‘The Church of the Silence’ or maybe the ‘Papal Mainframe’?”

“No… Should I have?”

“Probably not or at the very least you don’t remember that you do know about them, I just wasn’t sure whether or not you’d maybe heard of them during your time with the Time Agency. To put it simply, The Church of the Silence, formerly known as the Papal Mainframe were a group who had been able to genetically engineer their priests so that those who had sinned could perform confession without knowing that they’d done it. When someone comes into contact with the priests is that once they lose eye contact they forget everything that happened during the encounter only remembering again once meet with the Silence again.

So what I’m proposing is doing something that’s a bit like that. I’m going to tell you everything that you need to know, but then I’ll be locking the knowledge away until something specific triggers that knowledge to be unlocked. At that moment you’ll remember everything and be able to act accordingly.

“Wouldn’t that be bad? One of the first lessons at the Time Agency is how fragile the timelines are and how the most dangerous thing we can do is apply any future knowledge to the past.”

“It is dangerous. What we’re doing could unravel the timelines, but at the same time, if we don’t do this it could result in the end of the Universe as we know it.”

“Why is it always the end of the Universe with you two? Why can’t you guys ever just pop in for tea and a chat?”

 

Rose smiled at that, “One day Jack, we’ll have that life, we’ll be the people who pop over to each other’s houses for tea and we’ll talk about our day, the kids and what trouble they’ve gotten themselves in and it’ll be the best. That’s why I’m here; I’m working to protect that future. I’m working to protect our family.”

“Has it already started then? I’m sure you wouldn’t have let that part about the family slip if you hadn’t already planned to tell me the rest.”

Jack was surprised that his head hadn’t exploded yet. He understood that Rose would make him forget all of this soon but sitting here knowing that everything would be okay in the end made him fell lighter, but it also made him realize that he had more to lose than he ever expected. He still had the same question in his mind, why was it always them? Why did it seem that every time the Universe was near its end they were always the people who were in the crosshairs?

“Okay so what is it that you need me to do now?”

“Nothing really, just stay the course you were meant to be on. There will be people there to help you along the way. I’m so so sorry though Jack, for everything that you’ll have to go through. I love you Jack.”

“I love you too Rosie.”

He pulled back and saw Rose’s eyes glow and when she began speaking, her voice had taken on a sort of otherworldly quality to it. She still sounded like Rose but at the same time completely different, but like how her appearance changed, it was still Rose at the very core of it.

“And now everything you have heard will be forgotten, none of this will be accessible until the time is right. Only in times of life and death, only in times when the very fabric of reality is at risk will these memories return to guide you on the path to life. Return to your life now, forget all of this until your times of need.”

She leaned into him and softly kissed his lips leaving a trail of gold dust following after her that surrounded him and then she was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes with the Doctor are from 3x11 Utopia   
> Sorry it's been so long, I really have no excuse. I will done exams mid-april thoug and I have the spring term off so I plan on working on this story a lot more then! :)


	7. Tell Him I Love Him

John slowly felt himself coming back to consciousness; the steady beat of his heart bringing him back to the land of the waking. After his… creation so to speak, he had thought that he would miss it, the second heartbeat that had been a part of him since birth, but he’d found that humans also had a second heart – theirs just lived in another person’s body. When he’d made this realization he hadn’t understood how they could do it, have something so important, so integral to their livelihood and survival in as fragile a place as not one but two human bodies. How was one expected to entrust something so important to another person; he learned very quickly though that one simply didn’t have any say in it. Some things you just can’t decide for yourself. 

“Doctor are you alright?” Rose asked. John realized that their positions had been switched and now he was the one in the cot while Rose sat in the seat beside him. 

“Uh… yes, I’m just-” it was at that moment that John remembered the events that preceded his trip into unconsciousness and immediately grew nervous. 

It wasn’t often that John didn’t know how to go about something; he very often had an answer for anything and everything. This though, this wasn’t something he knew how to do though that wasn’t strange as he – the other him that is – had never considered it as something that would be possible for him. He should have realized all the repercussions that came with the fact that he was human now; it should have been one of the first things that he though of his human body meant that he was also human in all the ways that really mattered. Not only did he now have the decreased lifespan that meant he could –and if he had anything to say about it would- spend the rest of his forever with Rose, it also meant that he also had the biological imperative that almost all humans had to continue on the species and the activity preceding that had been one that the Doctor had very much enjoyed partaking in. 

“… Doctor? Are you sure you’re alright? Maybe I should run a brain scan just in case, you hit the ground pretty hard maybe you’ve gotten a concussion.” 

As Rose began pulling her sonic out of her pants pocket John gently touched her wrist and while his other hand moved up to stroke her cheek.

“No love, I’m fine. Well not fine exactly as I’ve just experienced a mental overload, really I don’t know how you humans deal with it blacking out just because multiple shocking things have happened – if the Timelord version of me could see me now he’d refuse to acknowledge that we are at all related, let alone were once the same being – but no I’m fine really just fine. Great actually, exuberant, marvellous, superb, everything is excellent.”

“You’re babbling Doctor, that means you have something important to say and while I usually love hearing you talk as you were recently unconscious I think this maybe the time to get to the point.”  
John wasn’t sure how to broach this subject with Rose, even after being married for the past four years it wasn’t something that had come up, not with the lives that they had decided to live. This thought lead to another, oh Rassilon they had only been married four years, Rose is only twenty five years old and her entire life is about to be changed. Just the thought of what would happen if it turned out that Rose didn’t want this made him dizzy, and the truth was that it was entirely possible that she wouldn’t. Not now… and maybe not with him, John had become more self-aware after they had settled in Pete’s world. He knew very well that he was different from everyone else on the planet; that though he had a human body his mind and memories were still mostly that of a timelord. He was also acutely aware of the fact that though they had been married for a while now Rose didn’t lack for the number of men who would still pursue and proposition her, being both the heiress of the Vitex fortune and the Vice-Director at Torchwood made her something of a celebrity in this world and one of the chief worries that came with that celebrity was simply the number of males who thought that they would be a better match for Rose than him and if that didn’t – 

“Doctor! What’s wrong? You keep spacing out, more so than usual.”

“It’s just that… I can’t really explain it Rose but we need to talk. We’re – You- you’re well… We’ll probably need more tests to confirm, actually yes confirmation! Just wait one second love, I’m going to need to draw a bold sample to get confirmation.”

Rose watched John as he drew her blood but didn’t protest, she figured once he got whatever results it was that he was looking for he would explain everything to her. Being married to him was really the ultimate test of patience at times. They were silent while he drew the blood sample from her and put it into the machine to be analyzed. John was pacing around and the moment the machine dinged he ran over and read the results off of the monitor. 

“Well… this is rather… well unexpected.” 

John had frozen in place and was still staring at the monitor when Rose walked up to him and lightly touched his face. 

“What is it Doctor? You know you can tell me right? Anything that’s happening we can face it together.”

The Doctor looked up into Rose’s eyes and she noticed that his eyes were filled to the brim with tears. 

“Rose, sweetheart, you’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby. I’m going to be a father again.”  


-

Jack felt like something was off. He didn’t really understand what it was, just that he had this sinking feeling in his gut like everything had gone wrong. Maybe it was simply the fact that he had let Gwen take care of John all on her own but he had a feeling that the current situation may be the least of his problems. Maybe it was the fact that he was currently searching through the office with Ianto and he had honestly never felt so awkward. It wasn’t something that Jack was accustomed to mostly because he was usually up for anything and if he did somehow find himself in an awkward position all he had to do was leave, clearly it wasn’t going to be so easy on him this time. This was one of the reasons he hated settling down anywhere, whenever one made anything even a bit permanent it just made things more complicated. 

He was somewhat relieved with Ianto suggested that they split up to search the floors. He knew he had to do something to remedy the situation but it didn’t mean he had to find the solution right at that moment. 

Jack should have known that John was working another angle, that everything he had told them had been a lie, but somewhere deep down he still felt that sting of betrayal. When John pushed him over the roof it was as if the last shred of the person he had been before had finally died. The man he had become before he was Jack Harkness had finally been put to rest. 

“What I want is for you to come to your sense. Join me, Jack. Back in the old routine we’d be emperors. How can you stay tied to one planet when there’s thousands of worlds sparkling with wonder? We should be up there, among the stars, claiming them for our own. Just like before.”

In the past he would have jumped at the chance to live the life that he’d once had but now after everything that he had been through that life didn’t hold anything for him. To be honest he still felt the pull of the universe, just knowing that there was so much to explore but after the year that never was he knew that his responsibility to his team, his people, was greater than that pull. 

When Jack returned to the Hub he knew that he had to get rid of John. He needed to protect his team and he knew now that John was a deadly threat. It would make sense that John didn’t want to go easily. He was in it for the score and he wouldn’t leave unless he got what he wanted. But the moment when they all realized that it had all been for naught and Jack heard the click of those handcuffs he almost felt his heart stop in his chest. 

John was a bomb and he had just attached himself to Gwen. 

He had to save her. He couldn’t lose her, not to this, not because of John. If he lost her now he wouldn’t be able to survive it, he had lost too much over the years and he knew that this would be the final straw that broke the camel’s back. The moment they all went back to the beginning of the night he breathed a sigh of relief. They were all alive and safe and all Jack needed to do now was get John the hell away from his team. 

“Oh. By the way, I meant to tell you. I found Gray.” 

Of course that bastard would find a way to fuck up his life right before he left. 

-

  
Gwen couldn’t fall asleep that night.

“But after it was all over, I knew I belong here. What kept me fighting was the thought of coming home to you.”

“Once a conman, always a conman.”

“He won’t stay with you. He and I shared something.”

She was thinking about everything she had learned or more specifically the new questions that she had about Jack. 

“Tell… tell Jack, Tell Jack I -” 

She knew what she was going to say in that moment, what she was going to confess. She realized now that it was a mistake and the fact that he had come right in time must mean that the universe had saved her from ruining her own life. But now in the darkness with only herself to answer to she had to finish that sentence. She needed to get it off her chest even if it the only person who would hear it was her. 

“Tell Jack I love him.”


End file.
